Shit got real - real fast...

I have been struggling with how to feel, what to say, how to act. The world right now is insanity. My heart longs for the simple things – just basic normal. For a moment each day, I essentially am paralyzed with fear and uncertainty. I want to cry for my children who want to be with friends and live the carefree lives that they should be living. I want to cry for me, because what the hell is happening? The worries I had a few weeks ago seem ridiculous now…all I wanted was to go to an amazing resort for Spring Break and I was literally pouting that we might have to reschedule. Now, wow – could I be a bigger cry baby? The mornings are tough – trying to plan on how we will fill the days for the kids while also trying to keep spirits up. My husband and I are both working from home (thankfully and gratefully) so it is back and forth from activities to phone calls, excel grids and PowerPoints. Then there is the news and social media. One “expert” says we will be in lock down for weeks, another suggests 18 months…our President does nothing to comfort…and then I think of Obama and how much I miss him and how I would feel so much more confident in our government if he was there…but he is not….Today we went for a walk and bike ride around the neighborhood. We chatted with some neighbors - we on one side of the street, they on the other. We are all scared, and we are all uncertain. The economy is tanking -what does that mean for our job stability? We need our income, so trying not to think of the “what if’s”. I am scrappy and a hustler so while I know whatever happens we will adjust and will survive – the unknown has my head spinning. AS an aside…Have any of you yet drawn Piggie and Elephant with Mo Willems? Highly recommend and it fills about 30 mins. I read an article yesterday that the marketplace is shifting and adjusting to the “Homebody Economy” as we are all in our home all day long. Mind you, I was not hitting the clubs nightly or raging away…but I did not hate going to the grocery store of having a nice lunch out. I am now preparing 3 meals a day for people. Not complaining, I love to cook but again it’s a big change. My red head of hair has a part now of very grey that popped up quickly, so a box of hair dye from Amazon arrived which will help. At least I have done that before, so it won’t be a complete disaster. The one thing I am totally terrible at is nails. Every 2 weeks I enjoy a professional manicure and pedicure – and as that is now on pause for a while, I decided to try it myself. Huge fail. Huge. First – my hands are a disaster from the amount of washing and Purell and I was never a hand model to begin with. The joke in our family is that I have dinosaur hands. When my husband and I got engaged we wanted to take that photo of the sparkly ring on my hand to share with the world. After trying every hand pose possible, we broke down in hysterics as we realized my hands were not photogenic at all. So – starting with my dinosaur hands, add in weeks of intense washing and Purell, plus my own attempt at doing my nails equals this disaster. Not to mention I am so impatient that the polish wasn’t dry and I was already moving on to other things, so it’s a mess. However – this is my reality right now. Constant anxiety, always underlying fear and now a hot mess on my hands. Wanted to share because why not? We are all in this together…. Stay Safe, Stay Healthy and let’s get through this together xoxo